18th Apr 2010
Sunday // 8pm // 2 years ago
26th Jan 2010
Tuesday // 3pm // 2 years ago
just need an explanation
Anyone come across me? I don’t understand this…at all. Are there friends? What’s a follower? I’m confused..help me!
20th Jan 2010
Wednesday // 10pm // 2 years ago
a little thing called love
Tonight, I’m at home in bed alone. Needless to say, Shuga is on my mind ridiculously and I wish more than anything I was in his bed where I belong every night. And I hope with all my heart that one day - “his” bed will become “our” bed. Officially.
I told him that I loved him. Maybe not in so many words, because I think the thought of saying it to him may just actually scare me just as much as it probably scares him. Instead, I did it the whimpy way - “ily” in a text. Surprisingly..he didn’t know what it meant until I brought it up in bed and he googled it. The reaction wasn’t a negative one as I semi-expected. I really feared that he would tense up, pull away, distance a little. To my amazement, when I went to pull away because he didn’t really say anything, he just pulled me tighter, the best reassurance I could have asked for.
But I know without doubt, that Shuga is who I want to be with the rest of my life. I want to wake up with him everyday..fall asleep with him every night. And at several points throughout our lives..I want us waking up in the middle of the night eye’ing each other to death until one of us gives in and tends to the baby.
He’s turned my entire universe upside down. And it scares me that one person has so much control over me..but it happens to everyone in life at some. There’s an amount of dependency on someone in everyone’s life..everyone needs love. Someone to love them and share a life with. And someone that if they suddenly lost, they would be incomplete. And that, is the part that scares me. I feel like he’s beginning to complete me, literally. And that’s the part of a relationship that should scare people - not the commitment.
I have gotten to the point where I hate being a sap. Mainly because my sister and her boyfriend have totally turned me away from that. People not being able to update a status, like them for example, without mentioning their “perfect” boyfriend or girlfriend EVERY single time..disgusts me. And when they act like their world is going to end because they haven’t seen the other one in 5 minutes..makes me gag. Really..there’s more to life. Which is where I’m a bit of a hypocrite, I admit. Because even though my statuses aren’t always about him and I don’t want to die after not seeing him for five minutes, he is the one that’s constantly on my mind, the one I miss when he’s not near, the one I bring up more than anyone or anything else, and the one that I’m most comfortable with. So, I try to be strong..limit the things I say and catch myself being clingy or annoying about my relationship and how in love I am with him..but at times it definitely still gets the best of me!
He’s got me really hooked on Buffalo Wild Wings right now..and I’m craving like crazy their caesar salad. Even though that bitch is $8..it’s scrumptious.
And him here to pop my back would be nice too! Another bad routine he’s instilling in my life!
19th Jan 2010
Tuesday // 3pm // 2 years ago
up in the air..
i have no idea what this site is..didn’t until i saw it mentioned in cosmo..but i’m thinking i might actually enjoy having this thing.
i think i’m going to make it my own little journal.. something that i can put what happens in my life..what i think..frustrations, excitements, etc.
right now..pretty frustrated and wanting to kick my sister’s ass.
i hate when people make fucking smartass comments they don’t even know shit about..keep your mouth shut..and thanks.
work at 5.. cashiering for the first time in nearly 3 years..going to be an interesting night for sure.
19th Jan 2010
Tuesday // 3pm // 2 years ago
